Story Changes Everything!

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign. Hello everyone, and welcome to whatever this is that we're doing here today. I am Angie and I have Grace Current with me here today. Say hello to the people. Oh, yes. Applause all around. Grace is here today to tell us about story, narrative, how that affects our lives, the things we tell ourselves. Just in case you're wondering even what story is. And so why don't you tell us what it is that you do in everyday, ordinary life and why we should listen to you? [00:00:58] Speaker B: I don't know about that, but. So I work as a marriage family therapist in Topeka and I have the privilege of sitting with people and I get to hear story. And we process story and we invite Jesus into story and healing and brilliance and life and love. It occurs and it's, it's really God's plan in his redemption in all of our lives, that we would take our story and that we would offer it to him and say, okay, here, this is, I don't understand it. I may not even like it. This is really, really painful. And what would you like to do with it? Because that's the invitation that we all have in our lives. And so I was, I was thinking, and I was talking to Jesus about this morning and I was, you know, just considering, like, how do we talk about story in a meaningful way that's helpful for people? And I suppose what I linked it on was this thought of, well, let's look at story from the viewpoint of, okay, let's look at it from 100ft above it and then 50ft and then more like day to day life. Hey, I am interacting with you. My brain is connecting to your brain. All those synapses are firing and they're wiring and we can feel the connection that we have with people when we're in, when we're in their presence, right? And so when we think about story from the hundred foot viewpoint of like, all right, well, God story has been happening for thousands and thousands and thousands of years. And we were all created to be today right where we are in this timeline and for a very, very brilliant purpose. But when we think about it, like holy cow, Adam and Eve, the garden, Genesis, David, Jesus, like all of it, it's so amazing to think through. Like, God has a purpose for us in what it is that we're doing and who it is that he says we are. And so we're, we're in this overarching timeline of God's story and he invites us to play a really, really key role and an important role in the redemption story. [00:03:37] Speaker A: So you're saying that Great Grandpa Adam's narrative can affect us. [00:03:44] Speaker B: Yeah, especially when we think through. Okay, so when we bring it down and we understand. Okay, so if I look at my story from the 50 foot viewpoint of, okay, so here's God's overarching story. And then we have our. Let's think about the generations that have come before us. Maybe it's four generations, maybe it's three generations. What, what were, what were our ancestors doing? What informed why they believed what they believed, what were they consuming in their hearts? That even plays out. And here I am generations later. But still their lives and their stories have impacted me of where we are today. [00:04:37] Speaker A: Yeah. And we see this play out biblically. We have the story of, of Moses sending the spies in to the promised land to see what they see. 12 of them go in and 10 of them come back with a report that we're going to be consumed by the land. Like, if we do this right, the land is going to swallow us up. Two of them were like, wait a minute, what about the fruit? Right? And, and then we have four people out of an entire nation that actually respond rightly before the Lord and the rest of the nation is grumbling and complaining against God. Would you say that this is a storyline that went just completely outside of boundaries? [00:05:25] Speaker B: Oh, absolutely, absolutely. And we can think about what informs the choices and decisions that we make. Is it. Are we going to make decisions informed by fear? Are we going to make decisions informed by love and how that plays out? And like, think about it, we can make this really, really practical. I can parent my child from a place of fear or performance. I can make decisions at work with co workers based out of fear. Or maybe I want to look a certain way in front of them. And so then, therefore, I need to do this, this and this in order to be perceived a certain way. Okay, what kind of fruit is that going to produce? Because it will produce a fruit and oftentimes we'll think it's really, really good and we will eat it and then we will, we will grow something from that place of whether. And it could be performance or it could be. [00:06:35] Speaker A: It's. [00:06:36] Speaker B: It's really the fear of being seen or known, right? Of being vulnerable. And what's so fascinating is that Jesus will always, always, always move towards the vulnerable parts of us. He'll always move towards the tender parts of us, the parts that we're like, ah, don't see me, my fig leaf, I want my fig leaf back. Right? And so with the, with the Narrative of love. What's it like when we, when we operate from a place of love, when we don't operate from a place of fear? Well, you're going to produce a whole different kind of fruit. And that fruit is in, it's sustainable. And then also think about generationally what you can offer to those who come after you. You can undo a lot of generational curses by saying, oh my gosh, I can understand how my great grandma operated this way. And we don't have to be mad about it. We can understand, okay, I can take a step back from this and say, oh my gosh, look at all of this pain that they endured. Look at this trauma, look at this war. Of course this informed the decisions that they made. And so when we can step back and say, okay, so Jesus, what do you think about this? What do you want to do in this story? How do you want to redeem this timeline? Because he's always into redeeming timelines. He will always redeem timelines. And then therefore, how do you want to. Maybe we have a really painful story. So when we take our painful story, this story, because we know there's good and evil in this world right from the very beginning, we can look, we can go back to that 100 point, 100 foot view and look at the evil and all of the ways that evil has worked to usurp the goodness of God. And that's still playing out today. You can, you can see it play out often. So when we take what was supposed to hurt us, harm us, destroy us, and we present it to God and we say, holy cow, here is this pain. What is it that you want to do? This was meant to be. This was meant to destroy me. But I'm gonna flip it on its head and you be glorified in it. Now that is our story. Submitted to Christ in Romans 12. So I often, I'll sit with clients, I'm like, we're going to Romans 12 it. We. Romans 12 it. And Romans 12 talks about it's. Therefore, brothers, in view of God's mercy, offer yourselves as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God, for this is your spiritual act of worship. Because that's all that we are. That's all we have to do when we present ourselves to God and we say, here I am. What do you want to do? How do you want to use me? I want to, to take this pain in me. I'm inviting you to draw near to my story and, and use it, be redeemed in it, make me whole and Those are all promises that he gives us because he offers us and gives us the fruit of the Spirit. The fruit of the spirit are gifts. They cannot be taken. They are our superpowers. No one can take the fruit of the spirit from you. You. I can give my peace away. I can, I can, I can give, give them away, but they can't be taken from us. [00:10:22] Speaker A: That's so good. Okay, so let's just. Real talk, real talk. Can I, can I represent all of humanity for a second, please? [00:10:30] Speaker B: Maybe, I don't know. [00:10:33] Speaker A: Okay, so let's just, let's, let's paint a picture. I have, I have situations, scenarios, circumstances in my life that have maybe been ongoing for years. And it just feels like I can't get over this thing. And I think that we could call this ensnarement. You're ensnared in the story, in the circumstances. How on earth do we get to ground zero, man? [00:10:59] Speaker B: Okay, so when we think about, at the, at when we, I asked the question, what is it that we're working to protect? What are we working to protect? Think about it. From zero, two things happen in life. We are born into whatever family or whatever situation it is that we are born into, right? And, and we don't have, we don't have control of that. But remember, hundred foot view, God knows, He knows. And though we may not understand is good. It is good. And so when we're born, we can't control who, where we're born into. And the second thing that we can't control is we're all going to age. We are, we are going to grow up and we will get older and older and older. And especially when we think about, as we grow, we automatically, we learn, how do I protect myself from feeling pain? How do I protect myself from this? How do I, how do I make sense of maybe this trauma that happened to me? How do I make sense of, of the abuse or how do I make sense of what it is that is going on in my life that I have no control? Especially as a little kiddo, okay? We all learn to protect ourselves one way or the other. And the role that those parts play in our life or the roles that those protector parts play, it's, it's. They're going to be maybe reactive and maybe they're going to be preemptive. Maybe they're like, okay, well I'm going to work really hard to manage everything that I have going on in my life, right? And this is day to day. I got it. Check. I love to Check all the boxes. I love to check boxes. Right. I learned if I didn't study for a spelling test, then I couldn't go to recess the next day because I'd have to retake the spelling test. And so if I wanted to do something, then preemptively. Okay, well, this is how I'm going to figure this out, and I'm going to. And I'm going to work to accomplish it right now. What happens when life slaps you in the face and things that are outside of your control happen? Well, those are often the very young, tender parts of ourselves that are still stuck in our body. Right. They're still in us, that pain. Because we carry pain, we'll hold pain. We will hold the pain in our body. And so the invitation is, okay, so if I can understand and map out what it is that I'm protecting, where I feel that in my body now, Jesus, what do you want to do with this? What do you want to redeem in this? How do you want to draw near to this part of myself that I don't even like, or I don't even understand, or I don't even have the grid to give words for? Okay, so then the question that we can continue to ask Jesus. So when we look at what Jesus did, he always drew near. He. He always drew near to the brokenhearted, to the pain, to the parts of ourselves that we didn't like, that we didn't. [00:14:48] Speaker A: That. [00:14:49] Speaker B: That we were not okay with, that we felt maybe incongruent in. And so when he comes on board and we say, what do you want to do with this part of myself that doesn't. That. That it's not. It's burdened. It's in pain. It's an exile. I don't like it. It pops up. I push it down. So what does that unburdening process look like? And I think for each of us, it's. It's really, really different. Ultimately, we need an encounter. [00:15:24] Speaker A: Yeah. How do we. How do we invite Jesus in to the story? Because I know, like you're saying, you know, we protect those tender parts of ourselves. I mean, I've heard people explain this in different ways. Like, I am so afraid that if I even open that door, that everything is going to come falling out and I'm going to drown. Like, it's going to absolutely kill me. I will be destroyed if I even turn the knob. And so how do we. How do we even begin to invite Jesus in? [00:15:53] Speaker B: We find love in the room. Because think about it. That If I don't open the door, then what is informing that narrative? Is it fear or is it love? If I open the door, then light can shine on it and it can heal. But if I keep the door closed because I'm scared, well, who's the author of fear? The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy. It will always be in darkness. And so we can change. Change occurs when we're. Well, I have a great friend. She's brilliant. She's like, change happens when we're ready, willing, and able. And the way that change occurs is so different for each of us. That's what's so brilliant. The way that Angie changes is different than the way that I change, and it's different than the way that Megan changes and John changes. Because, like later on in Romans, it kind of talks about our. Our gifting. So if it's prophesying, let him prophesy. If it's to love, let him love. If it's to lead, then do it diligently. If it's to give, then give, then give diligently. Isn't it so brilliant that we're all so different? It works so brilliantly. We weren't created to operate in the same spiritual anointings or the way that prophesying looks for one individual is totally different than how it looks for somebody else. Sure, there's going to be the common storyline. That's Jesus, that's God. But how that plays out in all of our lives, it's really this beautiful mosaic that God beholds and he invites us to see. And so when I. When I know that I'm pushing up against change, I'm either going to partner with, holy cow, this is painful. Yes, it will be painful. It has to be painful. If it were easy, everybody would do it. It's not easy. But when you allow light to shine on it, when it all does come spilling out, well, when love encounters, then healing can occur. And it's. It's painful either way. Truly, it's painful either way. It's. The thought of change is painful. Staying the same is also painful. [00:18:21] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. So true. So then let's talk. Let's move into talking about when the story changes. [00:18:28] Speaker B: Sure. [00:18:28] Speaker A: Because that happens. I mean, I think anybody in here could say that you have gone through an experience and, And. And you saw it one way in real time. But then you get down the road five years, and all of a sudden, like, you started to alter the storyline a little bit. Why do we do that? What's happening? [00:18:48] Speaker B: What are we protecting? [00:18:51] Speaker A: Do you see a comm. [00:18:56] Speaker B: Because we, we can go back, okay, we can go back to a couple of different things. Well, what is it that I'm protecting in myself? Because if this and this happened and that is true, then therefore does the, do these experiences determine who I am? See, we can partner with this false sense of identity here because our experiences are not who we are. Our traumas are not our identity. Our grief is not our identity. God, Jesus, what he spoke and breathed into us. He is who he is who he says he is in our lives. We are who he says we are. We were created to be in this moment and in this time and in this timeline for something really, really brilliant. And so we can either partner with. Okay, all of these things have happened. Again, here's the story. How do you want to use it? How do you want to be glorified in it? [00:20:04] Speaker A: And so let's look at it from the other angle in, in the sense of redemption. When you have invited him in and you're not self protecting and, and he comes in, sheds light on it and the, the narrative changes. Is that allowed? [00:20:23] Speaker B: Of course that's allowed. It is, it is, it is. It is allowed. Because isn't that so brilliant? Then the out, the outcome of that is it will bear fruit. You will, you will bear good fruit because you've partnered with love, because you've believed truth over this, this maladaptive narrative that's been going on around in your, in your mind. And we can take it back to, okay, so am I going to partner with love or am I going to partner with fear? Because oh, isn't it so brilliant that once we have dealt with something or once we have worked to overcome, maybe it's an addiction, maybe it's whatever. Well, of course we're going to have all of those messages. But don't you remember when you, but what about this time when you said, like, okay, hold on, what am I going to partner with in this? Am I going to partner with love or am I going to partner with fear? Fear will always the accusation. It's always fear. It's always fear. And the invitation is for us to always step into love. It is always to step into his goodness and to partner with him. And yeah, where, where do we start? [00:21:46] Speaker A: What's the best starting space? Like if we have just allowed the story to run amok and it's now running our life, how do we, how do we step in and, and begin the process of, of not self protecting, but inviting love in to, to redeem the story? To redeem the scenario, the situation, the relationship, whatever it is. [00:22:10] Speaker B: Sure, sure. I think for each of us, it looks a lot different because we're all. We all have different bends, right? But hands down, you need people, Community. And people are so, so, so very important because we were created to hold and share story. We were created to be able to hear the pain. And we don't. We don't have to carry that alone. The fear is, well, nobody can ever know or I can't share this story. It's too much. You don't understand, Grace. It's just too much. Actually, it's not. That's fear. Right. And so how we go about that, I think that's a brilliant conversation to have with Jesus. Okay, so, Jesus, how do you want me to record the story of my life? And maybe that looks like writing it down. Maybe that looks like painting this on this canvas. Maybe that looks like going to therapy. Maybe that looks like it's different for each of us. But whatever it is, we continually ask Jesus, Jesus, I need you to draw near to this part of my story. I want you to. To author. To co author this story with me. I think it's Dan Allender. Maybe it was Eldridge. There's some really also really, really brilliant books out there that say, okay, let's author this story out and let's hear is your version of your narrative. I mean, here. Huge fan of journaling and writing things out. Because when we externalize it, sometimes what spins in our head, it stays in our head. What was it that Bob used to say? [00:24:08] Speaker A: Release. Don't rehearse. [00:24:10] Speaker B: Release. Don't rehearse. Right. We can rehearse and rehearse and rehearse the same story over and over and over. And before you know it, it has taken on a life of its own. Right. And so the invitation is Release. And who are we releasing it to? We want to release it to the Father. We want to say, jesus, this is yours. What was intended to destroy you, you use for your goodness. And, and for your story that people would come to know you, that you would save souls. We. [00:24:52] Speaker A: When we were in Wales this last fall and we were talking about betrayal in an intensive, and somebody asked the question, when do I know that I'm healed? And. And the person that was teaching was like, oh, gosh, I don't have the answer to that. Angie, do you have anything? And it was Bob's words that. That actually just rose up in me. And. And I was like, oh, my gosh, that's it. Like, when you can actually release it and not rehearse it any longer. You have made it to healing grounds and where you. Where you don't have to protect probably the story anymore. [00:25:24] Speaker B: Right, right, right. That's exactly right. And also, I think the other. Another piece to that is there's no arrival. [00:25:33] Speaker A: Right. [00:25:34] Speaker B: There's no, like, done. [00:25:39] Speaker A: We need to pause on that. Like, can we sit in that for just a second? There is no arrival. Like, we, we have this mindset that we are pushing towards something, that we're going to arrive at something. And this isn't just in story. This is in life in general. Like, we have all these goals and these ambitions and that we're going to someday have this moment of arrival. That's fake news. Sincerely. It's not going to happen. You're going to continue to strive and strive and strive because you, you. You've set yourself up to believe that there is this, this apex moment in your life that is going to, I don't know, be like this, mount a transfiguration moment for you where, you know, Moses and Elijah come down and they're like, look at you in all your glory. It's not going to happen. It's simply not going to happen. Because the story continues on. [00:26:33] Speaker B: Exactly. The story continues on. So really, we invite Jesus into it. That is the most powerful thing we will ever do. And that is what's transformative Jesus. What, what, what should I wear today? Do you like the. The black pants? Do you like the jeans? [00:26:52] Speaker A: Can I wear this for the fifth day in a row? [00:26:54] Speaker B: Can I wear this for the fifth day in a row? Because I confessed I wear the same outfit for all week long sometimes. Nobody knows, nobody cares. [00:27:02] Speaker A: Nobody did know. [00:27:07] Speaker B: Except my co workers, and they love me, so it's okay. So. But it truly. Do you want to go on a walk with me, God? Let's go. What do you think about this tree? What do you think about that bird? What were you thinking when you created the dandelion? Like, ultimately, it's intimacy with Jesus and it's that intimacy that continues to transform us. And then we get a different view and understanding of our story because ultimately our story is not our own. Our story belongs to God. [00:27:46] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. And I think that it takes us back to the spaces in scripture that tell us to think on things that are beautiful, wonderful, whatever. The list goes on. [00:27:58] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:27:59] Speaker A: And, and so I think that. Well, let me just ask you this. Do you think that it's true that we're creating story all day long? [00:28:06] Speaker B: Oh, yes, absolutely. Absolutely. And then what's informing the story? [00:28:11] Speaker A: Right, which is why we, we have to capture the thoughts, take captive the thoughts that are coming at us and submit them. And, and again, and we've talked about this at length, but it's like we think we're just supposed to take captive the bad thoughts. Well, who made you the judge? Right? Like you don't actually get to decide what the deposits are in you that are beneficial to your life. Jesus does. And so we take captive those thoughts and submit them to the lordship of Jesus Christ. Now, this is way easier said than done because I have a hundred million thoughts a day, you know, especially if you're more given to introversion. You're thinking all day long. I'm not necessarily someone who uses a lot of words, but I do think continuously. And so it is. It's a chore to take captive thoughts. And we're just not well practiced in it. [00:29:07] Speaker B: No, we aren't well practiced. And so one of the brilliant practices that we can do is. And I'm awful at this, and I work to do this, but what is it like to just sit in silence for, for 10 minutes? Nothing? There's no, There's Jesus, I'm here. You're in me, I'm in you. And I. I only want to hear from you. I only in. In. As the thoughts come, we release them. We. We just empty ourselves like Jesus. I want to be so full of your thoughts, of your love of, of what it is that you're. You're passionate about Jesus. I want my heart to break for the things that break your heart. What. What is. What is on your mind? Yeah. [00:30:06] Speaker A: Yeah. That's so good. There's actually an exercise that you can do with the. I'm in you, you're in me. So when you, sometimes, when you're in those silent moments, that's just really great time for your thoughts to run wild and for you to. To do list. But if you have like, action that you can do with it. So something that I will practice is like leaning forward. I'm in you, you're in me. I'm in you, you're in me. And it does shift things. [00:30:43] Speaker B: It does. [00:30:43] Speaker A: It's powerful. Something so simplistic is powerful. And I think most of it is supposed to be simplistic because the kingdom of God belongs to the children. And so if it's, it's a, if it's above a child's level of understanding, then you've just gone out of bounds. [00:31:00] Speaker B: We love to complicate things and it's actually so simple. It is, yeah. [00:31:04] Speaker A: It is so simple. Anything else you want to say before we open it up for questions? [00:31:09] Speaker B: I don't think so. I don't think so. [00:31:12] Speaker A: Okay. All right. You were warned ahead of time. What questions do you have? I could actually just repeat the questions that might be. That way, nobody has to get. Move around. What questions do you have? So if you're someone who internalizes everything and there's a lot of trauma involved, what's the starting line? [00:31:52] Speaker B: The. That's a really, really brilliant question. And so if I'm internalizing and I'm remembering, if I am, maybe it plays through my mind over and over and over. A few things come to mind. One of the things that we want to do is to get a little bit of space between you and story. Okay. You want to create just a little bit of space between kind of where you begin and end versus what has happened. Right. We want to know and understand where do I begin and where do I end and. And stay curious about. Okay, hold on. This is something that happened to me. Right. And hear all of the thoughts that come with it. My identity does not rest in what happens or what happened to me. Right. Does that make sense? Yeah. And so when we create a little bit of space between the event or events and who we are in our agency of, like, this is. I am a child of God. This is who I like. I. I'm informed by who he says I am, not by what has happened to me, then I begin. Then I can begin to think about it and work through it in a few. In. In a couple different ways. Does that make sense? [00:33:38] Speaker A: Yeah, that's really good. I think one of the things that. That I learned to do over time is to actually go through this physical activity of taking it out, holding the thing out in the palm of my hand, 1. Because it makes me realize, like, oh, I'm. I'm way bigger than this thing. Right. And that's not to. That's not to be insensitive to. To what happened, but it's my story. And if I can hold it out here and examine it from here and it fits in my hand, then I have full control over what happens next. [00:34:15] Speaker B: Right. You may not have had control in those moments, but when we can hold. Hold it and when we can see it and be like, oh, man, that really sucked. [00:34:23] Speaker A: Yeah. And be honest about that. [00:34:26] Speaker B: Yeah. You. You have to be brutally honest. And. And then it's in that moment that what. That we pour out the pain that we pour out the grief that we pour out. Holy cow. This was awful. Okay. And then as we continue to work and understand I, and, and, or, or we don't understand Jesus. It is, it is. Here is my Romans 12:1. Here is my sacrifice. Right. In view of your mercy. Right. I want to be a living sacrifice. And so where are you at in the story? Where were you standing when this happened? What did your face look like? How, what did, how did you feel in that moment? Because I promise you, in trauma, he's heartbroken. He's always heartbroken. Always, Always. [00:35:42] Speaker A: Yeah. Finding Jesus in the space is incredibly powerful. I've had the privilege of walking with people through these kinds of experiences where you're going back to the place and it's totally, totally like I, I call it, you know, I'm just, just playing the, the spiritual tour guide here. You know, I'm just, I'm just taking where, where I see Holy Spirit going. Now let's talk about where we're at right now, what's happening and where is Jesus in the space? And just seeing the reaction of Christ himself in that scenario is always life changing, not just for the person that experienced it. But now I'm part of the story. Like, now I get to see the redemptive power of the Christ go to work. [00:36:27] Speaker B: Right? And he's always right there. He's so, so near. He's not, he's not far. He's not. It's, it's. He is there. And when you ask him, especially in faith, I need to see what you. What was happening in these, in these moments, like, expect him to show up. Because it's through those encounters that healing can occur. And also healing happens differently for everybody. With that question, though, that's what automatically came to mind. Sometimes healing looks so different and it's so fun. That's why I'm. Oh, man. This is where I wish I would remember, like, the technical terms of, like, the different nerves that, you know, in our brain hemispheres, our left side and our right side, we were cre. Like, there's four main pieces that connect to our creative side and there's only one of those major nerves that go over and hit our analytical side. We're far too analytical. But if we can be analytical, then we feel a sense of control. If we can, if we can think about it enough. Whereas I think sometimes if we approach it with childlike faith, it's, it can like healing. It can be, it can happen really quick, but we really love to think about stuff. [00:38:01] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:38:02] Speaker B: And I get that. Me too. [00:38:05] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, mull it over, mull it over. Dissect it. [00:38:08] Speaker B: Right. [00:38:08] Speaker A: Feel it all over again. [00:38:10] Speaker B: But when we invite Jesus into it, we're operating from this place of creativity. [00:38:16] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:38:17] Speaker B: And that's what we were created for, because we were created to create co creators. Co creators. [00:38:23] Speaker A: Yeah. All right, Nancy, I think you had a question. Okay. [00:38:38] Speaker B: That's a really brilliant question. [00:38:39] Speaker A: Repeat her question for the sake of the video. [00:38:42] Speaker B: Okay. The question was, what happens when we push down the pain? Because if we talk about it, it could hurt somebody. Other people involved in what we left. And that is so hard. It is such a hard, hard question. And I think ultimately, what does Jesus want and what we. Healing for each of us? We can go back to the idea that healing for each of us looks different, especially in family of origins. And so I love it. [00:39:23] Speaker A: I love it so much. [00:39:25] Speaker B: Especially in our family of origin. Right. And so with, with story and with family or with friends, I think that depends on. Okay, so Jesus here is this part of my story, and is this something that you want the world to know, or is this something that a few people get to know? Because it is so, so, so tender. And there's no clear right or wrong answer in that. There's no, like, oh, clearly you have to shout from the rooftops all of our pain or trauma. No. You know what I'm saying? But what does healing continue to look like in our lives? Because what we know, what we push down will come up. We can't keep pushing pain or grief down because it will manifest in different ways and areas of our lives. And also we're going to pass that on. Right. And so we just continue to hold this and say, what do you want to do with it, God? Because this is so incredibly painful. So I can only can control myself. I can only control the role that I played in the story or I didn't play. It's. I can't be responsible for other people's responses. I can't determine other. What other people should do or shouldn't do. I can't be their Holy Spirit and say, and now you need to surrender everything to Jesus, because remember, we only change when we're ready, willing and able. And how that looks in each of our lives, it's so, so different. So that's a really brilliant question and a really hard question. And so. And I think that I don't know that I necessarily answered it. I think it just kind of depends on, okay, what do you. We know that story, especially painful story submitted to God can be used to transform and bring healing. [00:41:44] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:41:44] Speaker B: Because that's the ultimate goal of all of our stories. How do you want to use my story and be glorified in it and let others experience your love and power? [00:41:56] Speaker A: Yeah. And I think that it's, it is part of the, of the altar experience with story. It's like, Jesus, I'm laying this down, it's now your story. You get to wield it how you want. And like, it's a tool in his tool belt. So if I find myself in a situation or scenario and God is like, going, like, now would be a good time for you to share your story. And I'm going, no, it wouldn't. No, no, no, I wouldn't. This is not a good time for that. But, But Jesus wins, right? Jesus. Jesus knows the appropriate time. And if there's one person in the room that, that my sharing of my story will affect and release into freedom, then it is absolutely worth it. In the end. It is a very sensitive question. You know that, you know, when, when our story impacts people that are still alive today, that makes it so incredibly difficult. But we have to ultimately trust that Jesus knows what he's doing. And what if, what if it breaks everything open? What if there's enough anointing to break the yokes? [00:43:03] Speaker B: Absolutely. And we can go back to this idea that control is an illusion. [00:43:09] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:43:13] Speaker B: It truly is. Control is an illusion. In, in laying a life surrendered to him is we plead guilty and we surrender, and it's the most powerful position we'll ever take. [00:43:27] Speaker A: Right, Right. Yeah. And so often I think that we perpetuate pain when we are more inclined to sweeping things under the rug than actually dealing with them. And I mean, I know for our, our, our story, you know, like, that, that was a major response is like, no, we're not actually going to make a big deal about this. Let's just sweep it under the rug, put the. And pretend like it didn't happen. Well, that has been a huge pain point in my story. Going like what? You know, like you're choosing to not want to actually admit that this happened. And so that is also. It can be painful when we're unwilling to deal with it. So I think, again, we've got to be honest in these scenarios and ask ourselves, what are we protecting with not wanting to, to share the story? If it, if it truly is Jesus saying like, now's not the time, you know, then absolutely obey. But if he's, if he's going, if you are continuously feeling prodded to Share the story, then, by all means, share the story. Be sensitive. Be kind. You know, default to kindness. Yeah. You know, you're not trying to humiliate people with your story, because that's also not kind. You know, that's wrong. And. And that's not helping. It's just. It's creating more pain. So be sensitive. And Jesus, listen, here is one of the top. Here's top tips from Angie. Jesus is so capable of showing you how to do it. Like, he will actually play it out before you like a movie. This is you doing the thing. This is you sharing your story. This is you having bravery to. To go up and, you know, whatever. You know, whatever the scene is. He is so committed to inserting himself in your story that he will actually reveal you doing the thing before you ever even do it. All right, other questions. [00:45:47] Speaker B: Say more. [00:46:16] Speaker A: Yeah, so I think that this is when children disassociate. [00:46:20] Speaker B: Oh, absolutely. [00:46:23] Speaker A: I think that we'll get there. So when children go through different traumas, they disassociate with what's happening. They. They allow themselves to actually hide behind, and something else comes forward to take the. The leading role in that thing, to protect themselves. I mean, it goes back to. To protection. And. And at what point in our lives do we actually allow that, disassociated, that fractured part of ourselves to come back and face what actually happened? I don't know. [00:46:49] Speaker B: That's a really great question. When I think about, especially with kids, maybe leading. We can use the language. Maybe I have a kiddo. And they're leading from a part of themselves. Themselves. It's not the whole. It's not the fullness of who they are. Like, if my. If my. I'll pick on my son because my daughter's here, but if my son comes at me and he's so mad. Right. Or maybe he's. Yeah, we'll just stick with mad. Maybe he's angry and he's enraged and he's slamming the doors or he's throwing things or whatever. I know. I know full well that that is not who he is. But what is leading that. What is. What is running the show or operating is that part of himself that is actually really, really scared. And the anger is what's showing up, and that's how he's protecting himself. Like, think about it. If I get into a fight with my husband and I don't like what he has to say and I get defensive, well, I'm protecting myself with my defensiveness. Right. So I have to be aware and Understand? Okay. So here. Here is this young man who's angry. Okay? Now, what is it that we need to be reminded of when we know that we're not operating from the fullness of who God says we are? It's the same thing for kiddos. We need to remind them. I mean, they have to be able to express. Yeah, you feel really, really angry. We know anger is a secondary emotion, and it protects something tender. So underneath the. The behavior is actually the goal. And so how do you get the kiddo to take a step back? How do you get that kiddo to create a little bit of space within themselves to think about? Okay, hold on. Yeah, I can throw a fit, and I can. I can do all of these things, right? And is. Is that. Is that who I am? And I think, especially as mothers, it's so important for us to speak into our kids. And this is who you are, and this is who God says you are. And I don't have to be offended by your anger, right, because of going to be angry sometimes and do things. But ultimately, how do I want to respond to you in those moments of disassociation? How do I want to respond to you in those moments of pain or vulnerability? Because one or. One or two things are going to happen. Something in me is going to rise up and take over the show, and I'm going to operate from a part of myself that is not the fullness of who I am. Maybe I'm going to operate from. Well, he's. He's making. He's. He's. He's putting a show on, or he's. He's causing a scene or he's throwing a fit, and I'm really embarrassed, right? And so then I'm going to operate from that place of embarrassment, Right? But the invitation is to be like, okay, yeah, this is what's going on right now. What is it. What is it that I need to do to help regulate my kiddo and to sometimes stay through the tension and in the mess and then have a conversation about it when I'm not angry later or when I'm feeling. When I'm feeling more. More settled? So I'm not going at a kiddo with a part of myself with the anger part or the shame or the embarrassment. Yeah, right. [00:50:47] Speaker A: Yeah. I. [00:50:48] Speaker B: This is. [00:50:49] Speaker A: This is kind of creating another question in me to. To lay before you is what. What's happening when. When we feel like other people's behaviors are a reflection of us? [00:51:03] Speaker B: A lot of times it's shame. A lot of times and that's just my. That's when I am so aware of other people's behavior or when other people's behavior get to dictate to me my response or how I'm gonna show up, or I'm. I'm not bringing the fullness of who I am to the table. I'm operating from this. This tender part of myself that's really, probably burdened and really, really young. [00:51:41] Speaker A: Wow. [00:51:42] Speaker B: And so then when we find ourselves doing things or acting a certain way, and we're like, what am I doing right now? [00:51:50] Speaker A: I don't even know. [00:51:52] Speaker B: We aren't operating from the fullness of who we are. We're operating from a burdened part that. And. And that's actually. It's. It's good news in the. Oh, okay. I see this. And this is an invitation for me to step towards it. This is an invitation for me to draw near, say, okay, so, Jesus, this just happened. What do you want to do with it? What. What is it? What. How old do I feel right now? What memory is associated with this? Why do I care so much about maybe what other people think or how I. How I present myself? [00:52:35] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:52:36] Speaker B: Isn't it so brilliant to fail? Yeah. [00:52:40] Speaker A: The majority of us would say no. [00:52:44] Speaker B: Because if we can fail, if we can get comfortable with failure. Not that we celebrate failure, but we know and understand a failure doesn't determine anything about us. It means we miss the mark. We. We repent and we like, okay, that's a great learn. Yeah, that's a great learn. [00:53:07] Speaker A: Right? It's the brilliance of confession. [00:53:08] Speaker B: It is the brilliance of confession. [00:53:10] Speaker A: We. [00:53:11] Speaker B: Confession is. Is. Is holy. [00:53:14] Speaker A: It's holy. It's holy. All right. What other questions do you have? [00:53:31] Speaker B: Great question. The question was you get to the point of where you're wanting to tell your story, and is there such a thing as too much detail and oversharing? Oversharing. Oversharing. [00:53:51] Speaker A: So you're asking more about motivations. Okay. [00:53:55] Speaker B: The motivation in sharing the story. Okay, here. Here are my. Here my rant. Here are my thoughts around this. What is so important is that we need to practice sharing our story. We practice sharing our story, and we practice sharing our story. And as I share stories. Story, it's gonna touch my heart, but I want to be able to understand why I'm saying what I'm saying, or I want to have invited Jesus to continue to show up in my story. Because even that practice, like, you're gonna learn and change and grow as you. As you continue to invite Jesus to write your Story and say your story and look at all the different ways. Yeah, Holy cow. Here are all the ways that I worked so hard to protect myself for all of these years. And, and this is, this is where it's landed me and this is where God has brought me to it and, and through it. And this is what he's doing now. And so I think it's really important for us to practice sharing our story, the over sharing piece of it. I guess what I always go back to is we just honor what's honorable. We just honor what's honorable. It is. I tell my kids, holy cow. I want you to honor what's honorable in me and dad. I want you to honor what's honorable. I don't want you to honor what's not honorable. Right. And so when we think about the. Just the power of our testimony, because that's what story is. It's our testimony. It's like, here, this is. I pray I give this to you, God. And I want like I honor what's honorable in, in all of it. In all of it. And I think that when we're, when your heart's posture is in that place, then immense power is, is like God just shows up. God shows up. But I think it's really important for us to share our story. And it's in the process of sharing our story that we can know and discern. Like Holy Spirit's gonna check you and Holy Spirit's gonna say not this. Yeah, say more about this part. Your, your glance. You're, you're, you're wanting to talk over this part. Why go deeper there? Like truly you can, you can offer, offer. Like Holy Spirit will totally be your editor in that. Yeah, that's a really good question too. [00:56:44] Speaker A: What else? [00:56:52] Speaker B: Anything else? [00:56:57] Speaker A: Like there's more questions out there. [00:57:00] Speaker B: Yeah, no. So the question is what happens when I don't remember my childhood or a lot of it as an adult? [00:57:26] Speaker A: I. [00:57:29] Speaker B: Sadly, it's really, really, really common. And I have a couple thoughts on this. Earlier when we were talking about the power of story from the 50 foot view and we kind of went through this thought and idea of, okay, how have generational curses played out in my family of origin? What happened when I was little that I had absolutely no control of? And what happened to my grandparents when they were little that they had absolutely no control of? And what happened to their grandparents when they were little? That. And then here it is and it's like all tracking down into our story today, all of those parts and pieces and, and I Will admit, I. I need to study. So, like, this is the area where I'm. I'm super. I want to understand and know and understand more about generational curses because, you know, when. When we're little, we're so, so vulnerable. And oftentimes I think the not remembering can be a few different things. I, I experience or. Well, I experience, but often people experience that they want to remember so badly. But what if it's protecting? Because it's. It's that protector there that, like, I can disassociate. And I am going to be physically there, but not there. Right. So my. I will physically be there, but I don't necessarily remember. And that is one of the ways that your brain just protects your. Protects yourself from all those. All those painful memories. And so then it's those memories. Memories can come back, especially when we say Jesus. Oh, I guess the better question is, like, Jesus, what do you want me to remember? Like, what do you want me to remember? [00:59:51] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. [00:59:53] Speaker B: Maybe that's a good question to ask him. I want you to bring to light Jesus what it is that you want to heal in me from my story as a little girl. And he's so kind. He is so, so kind. It won't all be at once. It won't. [01:00:15] Speaker A: It. [01:00:16] Speaker B: It's layer after layer after layer. And that comes with time. Often, sometimes it's gonna. Maybe it'll feel like a flood, or maybe it. Maybe it'll be a drip and a drip. So I don't know if that necessarily answers the question. Well, but those are my initial thoughts. There's a therapy practice called accelerated resolution therapy, or art therapy for short. And it's the process of. I use it a lot with, like, veterans or first responders or lots of. It's. It's memory reconstruction. In a way, it sounds kind of weird. It's. It's. We aren't saying that these events didn't happen, but we're helping our brain make sense of them. And oftentimes in those sessions then we'll have. We will have memories come back, and then they can be. And then they can be kind of dealt with. But oftentimes I think the better question to ask is, Jesus, what do you want me to remember from my childhood? [01:01:34] Speaker A: Yeah. Allowing him to be the director. [01:01:37] Speaker B: Allowing him to be the director. Right. When we take matters into our own hand and sometimes it gets right, and. [01:01:45] Speaker A: We can conjure up things that we have no business even dabbling in. [01:01:50] Speaker B: Right. [01:01:51] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. Any other questions for Grace? Come on. We don't get her that often. Okay, let's wrap it up with me asking you this question. So we really feel that the direction the Lord is taking us in this season is story. Yeah. To share story, tell story. And. And this has helped a lot to kind of even begin to bring form to. To what it is that I really feel like God is doing. It's given language. Anyway. What. What would be your best advice for those of us that are actually stepping out and telling story? And. And maybe even, like, maybe you could be even a little bit prophetic here and. And tell us even how you could see that affecting beyond just this place, beyond this seal. [01:02:47] Speaker B: Yeah. Because here in this room sets a group of people that will transform everything. Here in this room sits a group of people. The power of your story here. It will. It will go out and ignite life and love. That is the invitation. Because our stories, though painful at times, bring. Bring freedom. Because when they are submitted to Jesus and they become you. Use this. This is your story. I am your vessel. How is it that you want to use me? The stories that sit in this room alone can change everything. And so what is it that we are invited to do to share that? How do we. Like, do you. Do you think of yourself the way that Jesus is asking you to think of yourself? Are you viewing yourself from a place of. Of love? It's not you. It's. It's him in you. It's. It's who he says you are. You don't get to say. You don't get a say here. He. He says. He says, this is who. Who you are, and you're gonna partner with me or you're not. So what pain do you want to stay in? But think about the power of all of your guys's story. It's the testimony. It's Christ's work on the cross, and it's our testimony. What is that? There's. That's a verse. It's revelation. Maybe. I can't remember, but it's. It's. It's Christ's work on the cross, and it's the power of our testimony that. That transforms lives. Right. And so why wouldn't the stories in this room transform the world? [01:04:47] Speaker A: Are you thinking of the spirit of prophecy as the testimony of Jesus Christ? Is that what you were thinking of? [01:04:52] Speaker B: Maybe. [01:04:53] Speaker A: Okay. I think it fits. [01:04:56] Speaker B: It fits. [01:04:56] Speaker A: Okay, so let me just ask one additional question to that. Can you see this being okay? Because I know that what we're doing is so outside of the box of your just normal Sunday Christianity. Come sit in a chair, worship three songs, maybe get excited to get some goosebumps, somebody's going to teach, so on and so forth. How do we file this as worship? [01:05:28] Speaker B: If Jesus is here, how can it not be worshiped? So if Jesus is here and we say come, then why do we have to stand and sing and say, that's worship. [01:05:44] Speaker A: Right. [01:05:45] Speaker B: This is worship. [01:05:46] Speaker A: So story can magnify Jesus. Yes. [01:05:52] Speaker B: He wants your story to magnify him. [01:05:58] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:05:59] Speaker B: Story can lift Jesus high because ultimately we know and understand that nothing else matters. Story's been passed down for thousands of years. It's story. Yeah, it's story. Generation after generation after generation after generation. It's all story. [01:06:18] Speaker A: Yeah. And it was something that, you know, God continuously told the Israelites, generation after generation. Continue to tell the story. [01:06:28] Speaker B: That's right. [01:06:28] Speaker A: Continue to pass this down. [01:06:30] Speaker B: That's right. It. It's. It's his story. And his story will bring love and it will bring freedom, and his story will transform everything. And how that looks in all of us is different. And I think that's really, really brilliant. If it doesn't go back to Jesus, then that's not what we want. It always, always, always has to go back to the cross and his redemption. Yeah, that's the story. [01:06:59] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:07:00] Speaker B: And so that will play out in our lives. Us, his redemption in us, his love, his invitation. He's so kind. He's such a gentleman. He'll never force us to do anything. [01:07:13] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. And so I just. I want to conclude by saying this one thing for us to really hold on to. What if what he's asking us to do is the vehicle that begins his. His desire is that his glory covers the whole earth like the water covers the seas? What if us stepping out in boldness and encourage and. And telling our story from a seated place? Right. Like, we want to make sure we're telling our story from a seated place. Like we. We don't just hang out in the misery of the suffering servants. No, no, no, no, no. We're not gonna. Drama bond, boy, that's a whole other topic. But. But we do so from a seated place. As son of the living God, we share our story. And what if that's what breaks things open? Because where do we think the glory is coming from? It's us broken and spilled out as the sons of God. And what if that's the thing that begins to cause the glory of the Lord to cover the whole earth like the water? [01:08:24] Speaker B: One more piece. [01:08:25] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:08:26] Speaker B: We don't know the impact that our story has. We don't. We don't. You could be in Walmart shopping and just talking to somebody and loving them and sharing just a little bit, and you don't know the impact that that has. Truly. It's so simple. It's so, so simple. Grace, thank you for being here. [01:08:57] Speaker A: You're welcome. Thank you for sharing your expertise with us. [01:09:03] Speaker B: All right. [01:09:04] Speaker A: Yes. Give her a hand. She's brilliant. [01:09:07] Speaker B: She's brilliant.